Before bringing a cat into your life, we want to introduce a concept: the way you treat your cat determines the kind of cat they’ll become. While cats have unique personalities, their behavior can be shaped to align with your preferences.
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Here are two examples to illustrate this idea:
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If you want a cat that loves being held, you need to hold them frequently. If they don’t enjoy it initially, use treats or their favorite food as a reward. Start with short durations—1 minute, then 3 minutes, then 5—gradually increasing until they’re comfortable being held for longer periods, even up to 30 minutes. Over time, they’ll begin to enjoy it.
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If you prefer an independent cat, give them space to develop on their own. When they approach you for play or attention, don’t engage with them too often. This will encourage them to become more self-reliant.
The first few months are particularly crucial for shaping your cat’s behavior, so treat them in a way that aligns with your ideal.
Regardless of the approach, we all want well-mannered cats. Teaching good behavior doesn’t mean using harsh methods to make them submit; instead, it’s about becoming their "boss." This involves earning their respect and trust, creating boundaries they’ll follow willingly, and ensuring they feel loved. Never use violence or harm to "educate" your cat.
Being a "boss" to your cat means building a relationship based on respect and trust, not fear or force. Here’s how:
1. Establish Rules and Boundaries
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Set clear limits: Decide what’s allowed and what’s not, such as no jumping on dining tables, biting, or scratching furniture. Tailor these rules to suit your lifestyle.
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Correct behavior gently but firmly: Use a calm "no" or clap your hands to get their attention, instead of yelling or being aggressive.
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2. Be the Resource Provider
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Cats respect those who control resources. Ensure you’re the source of their food, water, toys, and other needs.
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Stick to scheduled feeding times instead of free feeding. Reward good behavior, such as a small treat or playtime, before meals.
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3. Build Trust
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Respect their individuality and emotions. Don’t force them to do things they dislike, like holding them against their will or disturbing their sleep. If you want a cat to enjoy being held, use their favorite treats to reward them and help them gradually adapt, rather than forcing the behavior without incentives.
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Speak to them in a gentle tone, provide affection, and spend time with them so they feel safe and comfortable.
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4. Establish Leadership Through Interaction
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Take the lead during playtime. For instance, control the movement of the wand toy rather than leaving it for them to play with on their own.
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When playtime ends, don’t let them “win” the toy. Always put it away, reinforcing the idea that you’re in charge of the fun.
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5. Stay Calm and Patient
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If your cat misbehaves, remain calm. Cats are sensitive to emotions, and they respond better when you’re composed.
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Be consistent in your actions so they understand the rules won’t change.
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6. Reward Good Behavior
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Use positive reinforcement, like treats or petting, to encourage desirable behavior. For instance, when they use a scratching post instead of furniture, reward them immediately.
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​By following these steps, you’ll become a respected and trustworthy "cat boss" in their eyes. Your cat will see you not as a source of fear, but as a reliable and loving leader.